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Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 8:21 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Two years ago, a bad reaction to an antibiotic landed my widowed mother briefly in the hospital. When she got out, she had a home health aide staying with her for a few nights. Upon going to visit, I was uneasy about meeting this woman, whom I knew only to be an American of Jamaican origin, as I figured she would resent taking care of a white woman for low pay as much as I would in her place.(The low pay wasn't my mother's fault; the home health aide was from an agency.)But as soon as I met her, she said something that dispelled all my worries that she resented my family for being better off than she was. Of course it wasn't just that she liked my mother; that could be insincere. What was it?
Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc)
Posted on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 8:44 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

did she say something that indicated she thought your family was not better off than her? that it was poor? did she imply that she was, in fact, well off? or that money held no interest for her?

did she have a mistaken idea about your family? about your family's financial circumstances? is her belief about your family's race relevant?

could she have said the same thing to a member of a black family? a chinese family? an Asian family?

did she mention money at all? racial origins? your job?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 9:12 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

y Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc) on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 08:44 pm:


did she say something that indicated she thought your family was not better off than her? noish or yope
that it was poor? no did she imply that she was, in fact, well off? noor that money held no interest
for her? no

did she have a mistaken idea about your family? no about your family's financial circumstances? no
is her belief about your family's race relevant? no

could she have said the same thing to a member of a black family? yes a chinese family? yes an
Asian family? yes

did she mention money at all? no racial origins? no your job? no
Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc)
Posted on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 10:16 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

did she say something which showed she felt your family deserved to be better off? that you had somehow earned your position?

did she say something which implied she particularly liked working for your family? that she would derive some kind of benefit from it other than her normal pay?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 10:24 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc) on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 10:16 pm:


did she say something which showed she felt your family deserved to be better off? no. (& we don't) that you
had somehow earned your position? no. If she had, I would have doubted her sincerity. Who wouldn't, under the circumstances?

did she say something which implied she particularly liked working for your family? See previous answer that she
would derive some kind of benefit from it other than her normal pay? no
Johanna (Buzzard)
Posted on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 10:47 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Did what she said have to do with you? your mother? your family? with her? her family?

Do you think she said what she said for the purpose of showing you that she did not resent your family?

Could she have said what she said if she had been white? Is there any combination of races (yours and hers) that would not work?

Could she have said what she said if she were employed by your family to perform a different service? If she were not employed by your family at all?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 11:46 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

y Johanna (Buzzard) on Friday, April 15, 2005 - 10:47 pm:


Did what she said have to do with you? yes your mother? no your family? no with her? no her family? yes

Do you think she said what she said for the purpose of showing you that she did not resent
your family? no

Could she have said what she said if she had been white? yes Is there any combination of races
(yours and hers) that would not work? no

Could she have said what she said if she were employed by your family to perform a different
service? yes If she were not employed by your family at all? yes
Katy (Katy)
Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 4:16 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Did she say that you reminded her of someone? A member of her family?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 7:24 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Katy (Katy) on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 04:16 pm:


Did she say that you reminded her of someone? no A member of her family? no
Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc)
Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 9:00 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

so she said something that concerned her family? did it concern her family generally? or a specific member? or several specific members? or herself?

did she mention her child? her parent? her spouse?

did she ask a question? make a statement? give an order? make an exclamation? did what she said include a comparison of any kind? an opinion?
politics?

did she say anything which concerned her state of mind? a previous job? a forthcoming job?

could this situation have arisen if she had been male?

was what she said critical of you in any way? of your family? was it critical of her own family?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 10:17 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

y Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc) on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 09:00 pm:


so she said something that concerned her family? yes did it concern her family generally? no or a
specific member? yes or several specific members? no or herself? no

did she mention her child? yes her parent? no her spouse? no

did she ask a question? no make a statement? yes give an order? no make an exclamation? nodid what
she said include a comparison of any kind? yesish an opinion? no
politics? no

did she say anything which concerned her state of mind? no a previous job? no a forthcoming job? no

could this situation have arisen if she had been male? yes

was what she said critical of you in any way? no of your family? no was it critical of her own family? no
Alizon (Alizon)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 12:13 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Did she mention the health of her child?

The reasons why she was exercising her profession?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 12:49 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Alizon (Alizon) on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 12:13 am:


Did she mention the health of her child? no

The reasons why she was exercising her profession? no
Barbara Johannessen Bailey (Rabrab)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 4:38 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Did she compare you to her child?

Say that she would hope her child would make the same choice in Agency that you did if she needed a nurse?
Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 11:13 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

did she compare her child to someone else? to you? to herself? to something else? did her child come out unfavourably in the comparison? favourably?

was the comparison between her work and something else? between you and someone else?

did she comment upon a decision you had made? she had made? her child had made?

is her child an adult? age of child relevant? gender of child relevant? job of child relevant?
did she metion her child's future? her prospects? for education? employment?
did she metion her hopes for her child?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 7:52 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Barbara Johannessen Bailey (Rabrab) on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 04:38 am:


Did she compare you to her child? yesish

Say that she would hope her child would make the same choice in Agency that you did if she
needed a nurse? no

By Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc) on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 11:13 am:


did she compare her child to someone else? see next answer to you? yesish to herself? no to something else? nodid her
child come out unfavourably in the comparison? no favourably? no

was the comparison between her work and something else? no between you and someone else? yesish

did she comment upon a decision you had made? yope she had made? no her child had made? yope

is her child an adult? yes age of child relevant?yes gender of child relevant? no job of child relevant? no
did she metion her child's future? no her prospects? no for education? no employment? no
did she metion her hopes for her child? no
John Morahan (Wunderland)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 7:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Was her child related to you?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 8:23 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By John Morahan (Wunderland) on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 07:56 pm:


Was her child related to you? no
Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 9:30 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

so, in some way she compared her child to you?
did she compare your physical appearance? your way of speaking? your relationship with your mother? your family values? your manner?

had you spoken before she said what she did? did she say it immediately on seeing you? did she have to have any information about you other than just seeing you to say it? had your mother said anything relevant about you to her? which prompted her to say what she did?

did she refer to your marital status? to your finances? to the way you were dressed? to the amount of time you spent with your mother?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 9:40 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc) on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 09:30 pm:


so, in some way she compared her child to you? yesish--note the "ish"
did she compare your physical appearance? no your way of speaking? no your relationship with your
mother? no your family values? no your manner? no

had you spoken before she said what she did? no did she say it immediately on seeing you? yes did
she have to have any information about you other than just seeing you to say it? yes had your
mother said anything relevant about you to her? yes which prompted her to say what she did? yes

did she refer to your marital status? no to your finances? no to the way you were dressed? no to the
amount of time you spent with your mother? no
Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 9:54 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

was it her daughter? or her son? that she 'compared' you to? relevant?

did she say 'you're just like my daughter/son in that....'

did she say you were the same in some way as her child? different?

did she say that you did something in a similar way to her child? in a different way?

could she have said the same thing without seeing you? or if she met you in a different place? or was it stimuated by her seeing you? or seeing you on a visit to your mother?

is the way you entered the house relevant?

after she said it did you think - here is someone who genuinely doesn't mind looking after my mother? or someone who doesn't mind working for low pay? or someone who thinks their pay is fair? or someone who likes their job? or someone who is happy in their work? or someone who is glad to be doing this?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 10:38 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc) on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 09:54 pm:


was it her daughter? yes or her son? no that she 'compared' you to? relevant? no

did she say 'you're just like my daughter/son in that....' see next answer

did she say you were the same in some way as her child? yes different? no

did she say that you did something in a similar way to her child? noish in a different way? no

could she have said the same thing without seeing you? yes or if she met you in a different
place? yes or was it stimuated by her seeing you? no or seeing you on a visit to your mother? yope

is the way you entered the house relevant? no

after she said it did you think - here is someone who genuinely doesn't mind looking after
my mother?yope or noish or someone who doesn't mind working for low pay? no or someone who thinks their
pay is fair? no or someone who likes their job? no or someone who is happy in their work? no or
someone who is glad to be doing this? no
Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc)
Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 10:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

did you mind the comparison? did it give a good impression of you? a bad one?

did she refer to your timekeeping?

did she gve the impression that she saw herself as your mother's equal in some way? as a fellow parent?

so she said that you were the same as her child - did she mention your relationship with your mother?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 12:55 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc) on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 10:56 pm:


did you mind the comparison? no did it give a good impression of you? some people would think so a bad one? no

did she refer to your timekeeping? no

did she gve the impression that she saw herself as your mother's equal in some way? yes as a
fellow parent? yesish

so she said that you were the same as her child - did she mention your relationship with your
mother? no
Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc)
Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 7:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

did she speak to you in the way that she would speak to her own daughter?

was it the fact that she seemed comfortable enough to speak to you in the manner of a mother that made you think she was comfortable working for your family? that she seemed to have placed herself alongside your mother in the family 'heirarchy'? so obviously wasn't feeling like a 'put upon' servant?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 8:21 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc) on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 07:42 pm:


did she speak to you in the way that she would speak to her own daughter? irrel

was it the fact that she seemed comfortable enough to speak to you in the manner of a
mother that made you think she was comfortable working for your family? no that she seemed to
have placed herself alongside your mother in the family 'heirarchy'? yesish so obviously wasn't
feeling like a 'put upon' servant? yes
Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc)
Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 9:22 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

did she say something akin to:
'You're just like my daughter, worrying about her mother when you should be looking after herself; just come in and stop worrying, we're getting on fine here'

did she tell you to do anything? ask you to do anything?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 9:44 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By Hannah Kinghern (Kdoc) on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 09:22 pm:


did she say something akin to:
'You're just like my daughter, worrying about her mother when you should be looking after
herself; just come in and stop worrying, we're getting on fine here' no

did she tell you to do anything? no ask you to do anything? no
John Morahan (Wunderland)
Posted on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 11:59 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Was what she said prompted by something your mother had previously said to her? about you?
"My daughter is?/has?/does?...whatever...too"?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 12:58 am:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By John Morahan (Wunderland) on Monday, April 25, 2005 - 11:59 pm:


Was what she said prompted by something your mother had previously said to her? yes about
you? yes
"My daughter is?/has?/does?...whatever...too"? yes. The closest of your formulations would be 'is'
John Morahan (Wunderland)
Posted on Wednesday, April 27, 2005 - 8:47 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

So she commented on some similarity between you and her daughter?
Was it to do with your job? your opinions?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 6:28 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

y John Morahan (Wunderland) on Wednesday, April 27, 2005 - 08:47 pm:


So she commented on some similarity between you and her daughter? yes
Was it to do with your job? no your opinions? no
John Morahan (Wunderland)
Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 7:28 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Was her daughter approximately the same age as you?
Is some past event relevant?
Something you both did? something that happened to you both? at approximately the same time? or the same age?
or is it some attribute that you both had?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 9:20 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By John Morahan (Wunderland) on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 07:28 pm:


Was her daughter approximately the same age as you? no (but irrel)
Is some past event relevant? yes
Something you both did? yes something that happened to you both? see previous answer at approximately the same
time? no or the same age? no
or is it some attribute that you both had? see previous answers
John Morahan (Wunderland)
Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 9:32 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Something you did once? several times? regularly? continuously over an extended period?
Did it involve: speaking? listening? writing? reading? communicating in any way? thinking? physical exercise? other people? non human animals? tangible objects?
Did you do it intentionally?
John Morahan (Wunderland)
Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 9:36 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

forgot: Something you did as a child? teenager? adult? relevant?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 10:28 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

y John Morahan (Wunderland) on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 09:32 pm:


Something you did once?yes several times? no regularly? see next answer continuously over an extended period?yope
Did it involve: speaking? yes listening? yes writing? yes reading? yescommunicating in any way? yes thinking? yes
physical exercise? yes other people? yes non human animals? no tangible objects? yes
Did you do it intentionally? yes

By John Morahan (Wunderland) on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 09:36 pm:


forgot: Something you did as a child? no teenager? yope adult? yes relevant? yes
John Morahan (Wunderland)
Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 11:03 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Attending college? a particular college? a particular course?
Felicia Nimue Ackerman (Nimue)
Posted on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 11:33 pm:   Edit PostDelete PostView Post/Check IPPrint Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

By John Morahan (Wunderland) on Thursday, April 28, 2005 - 11:03 pm:


Attending college? yes a particular college? yes a particular course?no

*****SPOILER **************
When I met the Jamaican immigrant who was a short-term home health care aide for my mother, I was afraid she would think of herself as poor & downtrodden & would resent having to deal with my middle-class (althogh certainly not rich!!) family. My fear vanished in an instant when she greated me by saying, "Hello, Felicia" (This was before I aquired the "Nimue.") "Your mother tells me you're a Cornell graduate. So is my daughter. What dormitory did you live in?" This uplifting immigrant upward-mobility story doesn't happen in America anywhere near as much as conservatives claim. But it does happen sometimes. I'm surprised that this puzzle turned out to be easier than "Silver Lining," but please check out my new one at the bottom of the page.

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