[Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

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[Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Mon Sep 17, 2018 10:33 pm

A group of women burst out laughing in church because of cows. Why?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby wolfier » Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:41 am

Were there also men in the church? If so did they laugh? How about the rest of the women not in the group - did they not find the same thing funny?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby GalFisk » Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:54 am

Were cows: seen? Heard? Mentioned? Discussed? Smelled? Milking relevant? Feeding? Grooming? Herding? Breeding? Calves? Horns? Slaughter?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby wolfier » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:19 pm

early WAG: are this group of women mothers of children mooing on the stage?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:19 pm

Were there also men in the church? Yes If so did they laugh? No How about the rest of the women not in the group - did they not find the same thing funny? They did not (in the actual story - ROIMBT - some did, but for the sake of the puzzle assume only the women in the group laughed)

Were cows: seen? Heard? Mentioned? Discussed? This Smelled?
Milking relevant? Feeding? Grooming? Herding? Breeding? This Calves? Horns? Slaughter?

early WAG: are this group of women mothers of children mooing on the stage? No
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby invisiblemimsy » Thu Sep 20, 2018 6:48 pm

Has this anything to do with the story of Joseph and his coloured coat? His dream about the 7 fat cows and the 7 thin cows? A play or musical e.g. Andrew Lloyd Webber. Did there need to be more than 14 cows in a school play so that all the children could have a part, hence the cows must have been breeding?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:34 pm

Has this anything to do with the story of Joseph and his coloured coat? His dream about the 7 fat cows and the 7 thin cows? A play or musical e.g. Andrew Lloyd Webber. Did there need to be more than 14 cows in a school play so that all the children could have a part, hence the cows must have been breeding? This is pretty funny! (but it's not correct - No to all)
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby gregoryuconn » Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:54 pm

Would a transsexual man have laughed? A transsexual woman?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:27 am

Would a transsexual man have laughed? No A transsexual woman? If she were in the group
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby wolfier » Fri Sep 21, 2018 2:14 am

Are they nuns?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Fri Sep 21, 2018 2:54 am

Are they nuns? No
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby gregoryuconn » Fri Sep 21, 2018 10:22 pm

Would a pre-op transgender man (who was still biologically and anatomically female) have laughed if he were in the group? A pre-op transgender female (who was still biologically and anatomically male)? Someone who identified as gender neutral and was biologically male? What if they were biologically female?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Mon Sep 24, 2018 12:01 am

Would a pre-op transgender man (who was still biologically and anatomically female) have laughed if he were in the group? A pre-op transgender female (who was still biologically and anatomically male)? Someone who identified as gender neutral and was biologically male? What if they were biologically female? Um... only women can be in a group of this type; cis/trans is irrelevant for the puzzle
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby wolfier » Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:04 am

so, are they moms? daughters? grandmothers? granddaughters? sisters?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:37 pm

o, are they moms? daughters? grandmothers? granddaughters? sisters? Irrel to all - their "group" is not defined by family relationship
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby gregoryuconn » Tue Sep 25, 2018 12:35 am

Is it a women's club? Could a man disguise himself as a woman to join the group? If so, would he have laughed?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby GalFisk » Wed Sep 26, 2018 6:42 pm

Reproduction relevant? Bulls? Artificial insemination? Do they relevantly work with cows? Cow behavior relevant? Cows in heat? Compatison between cows and humans relevant?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Wed Sep 26, 2018 8:17 pm

Is it a women's club? No Could a man disguise himself as a woman to join the group? Not a chance If so, would he have laughed?

Reproduction relevant? Bulls? Artificial insemination? Exactly Do they relevantly work with cows? Yes Cow behavior relevant? Cows in heat? Compatison between cows and humans relevant? No
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby gregoryuconn » Fri Sep 28, 2018 1:03 am

Hmmm.... As far as I can tell, nobody has asked if the women are human yet. Are they? Or are they cows?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby wolfier » Fri Sep 28, 2018 2:32 am

Does it have anything to do with virgin (cows) giving births?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby biograd » Fri Sep 28, 2018 7:24 am

The women must have been human, as I've never heard of a cow laughing (though there IS a brand of cheese called "laughing cow" sold in some countries...)

Were the women bridesmaids at a wedding?

Was a comment made that only the group of women could hear? whereas had a man overheard the comment, he might have found it funny as well?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Fri Sep 28, 2018 3:15 pm

Hmmm.... As far as I can tell, nobody has asked if the women are human yet. Are they? Or are they cows? The women are all H/A/F. (Can cows even laugh? I've never considered it....)

Does it have anything to do with virgin (cows) giving births? No

The women must have been human, as I've never heard of a cow laughing (though there IS a brand of cheese called "laughing cow" sold in some countries...) I'm now going to have laughing cows stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

Were the women bridesmaids at a wedding? Yes!

Was a comment made that only the group of women could hear? No, good question whereas had a man overheard the comment, he might have found it funny as well? No
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby jumpingjacks » Fri Sep 28, 2018 5:56 pm

Was the bride present at this discussion? Was the artificial insemination joke made at the expense of the groom? of men in general? Which part of the process is relevant - extracting sperm from the bull? giving said sperm to the cow? Is the bride a farmer? Does she artificially inseminate cows as part of her job? Do they make a joke about handjobs? Is this a PG-13 puzzle? Haha
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Fri Sep 28, 2018 8:52 pm

Was the bride present at this discussion? Yes Was the artificial insemination joke made at the expense of the groom? No, possible FA of men in general? No
Which part of the process is relevant - extracting sperm from the bull? giving said sperm to the cow? I think the latter, but honestly I don't want to look up the process to double-check
Is the bride a farmer? No Does she artificially inseminate cows as part of her job? Not the bride... Do they make a joke about handjobs? No Is this a PG-13 puzzle? Haha Yes, to the relief of the Secret LTPF Censor Board That Is No Longer Secret
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby jumpingjacks » Sat Sep 29, 2018 2:24 pm

Possible FA - it was not intended to be a joke, but the bridesmaids found it funny? because they associated it with something to do with cows and artificial insemination?
The cow inseminator: one of the bridesmaids? All of them? The groom? The best man? One of the parents of the bride/groom?
Did men not find it funny because - they were offended? They didn't understand? Did the bridesmaids previously have some kind of group experience (eg. during the hen do?) that resulted in this inside joke?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Sat Sep 29, 2018 11:57 pm

Possible FA - it was not intended to be a joke, but the bridesmaids found it funny? Yes - the thing that caused them to start laughing was not intended to be funny because they associated it with something to do with cows and artificial insemination? Yes
The cow inseminator: one of the bridesmaids? Yes All of them? The groom? The best man? One of the parents of the bride/groom?
Did men not find it funny because - they were offended? They didn't understand? Yes Did the bridesmaids previously have some kind of group experience (eg. during the hen do?) that resulted in this inside joke? Yes
(Good progress!)
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby android18 » Sun Sep 30, 2018 1:27 pm

Did the hen do take place on a farm? Is the inseminator's profession that? Or was it a one-off 'have a go' type thing? Did she literally inseminate a cow?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby jumpingjacks » Sun Sep 30, 2018 1:56 pm

Thing that was said that made them laugh: was this said by the bride? groom? minister/person who conducts the ceremony? A parent of the couple? A friend? Was this person giving a speech? Saying formal wedding things?

When was this? Just after the bride had walked up the aisle? Before the rings were exchanged? After? During the vows? During the pronouncement? After? Before the kiss? After the kiss?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Sun Sep 30, 2018 5:31 pm

Did the hen do take place on a farm? No Is the inseminator's profession that? She's a medical student who has just been certified to inseminate cattle Or was it a one-off 'have a go' type thing? Did she literally inseminate a cow? She has done so

Thing that was said that made them laugh: was this said by the bride? groom? minister/person who conducts the ceremony? This A parent of the couple? A friend?
Was this person giving a speech? No, but... Saying formal wedding things? ...Yes

When was this? Just after the bride had walked up the aisle? Before the rings were exchanged? After? During the vows? During the pronouncement? After? Before the kiss? After the kiss? It was sometime in the middle of the ceremony; my guess would be shortly before the vows/the pronouncement
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby gregoryuconn » Mon Oct 01, 2018 11:28 pm

Did they think it meant she was going to inseminate the cow the natural way (to put it in a PG manner)? And laughed because that's ridiculous on so many levels? Did she attempt to have sex with a cow or bull at any relevant point?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby jumpingjacks » Wed Oct 03, 2018 9:04 pm

Does the minister say the usual lines that one would expect in a church, ie "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union etc etc...?"
Does the unintended insemination reference stem from a mention of "entering into" marriage? Eg. perhaps the minister says, "holy matrimony is to be entered into with great care, and not hastily or unthinkingly", and this echoes what one of the bridesmaids had said about inseminating cows? Mention of something being "joined"?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Thu Oct 04, 2018 12:38 am

Did they think it meant she was going to inseminate the cow the natural way (to put it in a PG manner)? And laughed because that's ridiculous on so many levels? Did she attempt to have sex with a cow or bull at any relevant point? No to all (thankfully)

Does the minister say the usual lines that one would expect in a church, ie "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union etc etc...?" Yes
Does the unintended insemination reference stem from a mention of "entering into" marriage? Eg. perhaps the minister says, "holy matrimony is to be entered into with great care, and not hastily or unthinkingly", and this echoes what one of the bridesmaids had said about inseminating cows? Mention of something being "joined"? No - they weren't laughing at what the priest "said," but...
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby jumpingjacks » Thu Oct 04, 2018 12:39 am

But... what he did? Did he make a gesture that resembled cow insemination?
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee

Postby Balin » Thu Oct 04, 2018 12:43 am

But... what he did? Did he make a gesture that resembled cow insemination? That's it.

****SPOILER****

(As recounted by the bridesmaid:)

I was a bridesmaid at a friend's very serious, very Catholic wedding. Prior to the ceremony, there had been a bridesmaid's luncheonette with all of us and many of the bride's older female family members, well dressed, upper middle class aunts, Grandma, family friends, at a country club. We're all going around the table, making small talk, they're asking about our college majors, etc. and they get to me.
"Well, I'm going to vet school, but I'm an animal and dairy sciences major right now." "What does that entail?"
"Honestly, it's a mostly about running a farm. For instance, I just got certified to artificially inseminate cattle."
Silence. Then, with partial strangled politeness and partial genuine curiosity, "How does one do that?"
"Well, see, you put on this long plastic glove...." And I then go on to pantomime reaching my hand straight out and into the rectum of a cow, while I explain the technicalities. Everyone is laughing and the bride is shaking her head. We all joke about it the whole day. It becomes an inside joke between all these ladies.
Fast forward to the next day at the ceremony, which has been very somber and liturgical, and suddenly, right in the middle, the priest says, "And now, everyone, I want us all to extend our blessings as a congregation to this couple. Please, reach out your hand right now...." And thrusts his hand straight forward....
I never heard the rest of what he said. I hit the ground braying, as did another bridesmaid, and another one almost fell from trying to support us. There were elderly ladies giggling in the audience, and the bride had tears running down her face from trying to hold it in, but luckily it came off as genuine emotion.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you ruin a Catholic wedding without saying a word.
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Re: [Balin] Blessings, u pwn thee (*INTERRUPTED*)

Postby jumpingjacks » Thu Oct 04, 2018 4:08 pm

How a-moooo-sing!! :D
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